So this seems like a good point at which to go into a little bit more detail about the second intention of the Where’s Wallace? project. The fundraising’s ticking along nicely, but I’ve got another job to do now which involves learning as much as I can about what the money being raised will go towards funding, and then sharing what I learn with you.

The clue, rather helpfully, is in the charity’s name – Cancer Research UK. But what does it actually mean?

From my own experience of working at a university, I know that the meaning of research is not always very easily understood. Investigations, analyses, findings, conclusions, reports and papers. There’s a lot going on in there.

Scientific medical research in particular can be extra tricky to understand, but the outcomes, for the most part, are helpfully tangible. The research works to discover the facts and the truth of the matters at hand, and at Cancer Research UK they’re using those discoveries to help improve the ways in which they can prevent, diagnose and treat cancer.

And it’s the business of facts and truths that Where’s Wallace? will be concerning itself with. As I make my way around the country, meeting the men and women who are toiling over the mysteries of cancer, I’ll be passing what they tell me on to you.

It’ll be from the horse’s mouth, as I see and hear it and nothing more.

More often than not, and despite obvious assumptions about the meaning of the words ‘facts and ‘truth”, research leads to debate, and rightly so. The process of questioning the answers, and subsequently refining the questions, is part and parcel of the methods of progress.

I need to point out though that Where’s Wallace? isn’t part of that debate. What we’re dealing with here is a shared education where I will only be participating as the pupil.

The things I see and hear will not see me qualified in any way to directly answer questions that people might have about research into cancer, diagnoses or the development of treatments and therapies. For questions and queries of that nature, I can only direct you to Cancer Research UK’s website and information pages, which should always be your first port of call.

I’m also aware that cancer is a highly emotive topic in a number of other arenas, which again, Where’s Wallace? won’t be stepping into. Politics, economics, the law and religion won’t be debated here. That’s not to say that I don’t think debates in those areas aren’t important, but this isn’t a forum under which I think they can or should be discussed.

So, here we go! Off to Dundee and the learning begins! I’m really excited about this, and as I visit each of the research centres I’m excited about sharing what I learn with you. The hope is that we can all get a better understanding of why it’s so important that we continue to raise as much money as possible to support the work of Cancer Research UK.

Wallace

Wallace,

I’m sorry I can’t be there tonight to wish you all the best on your fundraising travels. I’m currently bobbing around in the North Sea. If I was there however, I was planning to pull you over to one side to say a few words in a calm North American accent. It would probably
have gone a little something like this:-

Matthew Wallace. Wear sunscreen. If I could offer you only one piece of advice for your upcoming expedition, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proven by scientists, whereas my advice is based on my short inexperienced life.

I shall dispense this crappy advice now.

Enjoy the experience. You may not enjoy it from time to time, but know that in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and you will recall, in a way you may not grasp right now, how amazing your idea is and how fabulous the journey will be.

Don’t worry about the next day, or worry only if you have not got a
bed to sleep in, even then your sleeping bag will be more comfortable.

Take every day as it comes. The real troubles on your journey are apt
to be things your friends and family can help you with. We are only a
phone call away, depending on reception and battery life.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing. It will pass the time, however, some people may think you’re mental.

Floss.

Some times you will be ahead of schedule, sometimes behind, but
remember it is not a race, go at your own speed.

Keep things you find, everything has a story. Your back pack should be
twice as heavy when you finish than when you set off.

Stretch.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees, especially on the down hill legs (wehey, legs, get it!!?).

Maybe you’ll get blisters, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll fall over, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll shit in the woods. Maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken when you cross the finishing line. But whatever you do, remember why you’re doing it. It will help you get up and put one foot in front of the other every day.

Enjoy your body, use it in every way you can. Telling chicks you meet
about your amazing adventure might get you lucky!

Dance.

Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.

Do not follow Bear Grylls survival, it will only make you feel sick.

Sleep in the highlands once, but leave before it makes you hard, or kills you. Sleep in a 5 star hotel once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Accept some unavoidable truths. The terrain will rise, you will have to go the long way round and there will be pain. But know that we are with you no matter how lonely the road may feel.

Don’t mess with your hair, or by the time you’re 40 it will look 85 (hang on, scrap that, that one’s for me!).

Be careful who’s advice you buy, (Bear Grylls, £0.99 I believe?). Be patient with those who give it freely.

REST. Do so safe in the knowledge that you are changing lives for the
better. Not just your friends and family, but also for those people who need a rest from their own battles every once in a while. They will benefit from this in a way you may not yet understand!

Maybe this advice has helped, maybe it hasn’t.

But trust me on the sunscreen!

Dave Lee

So, I’ve developed the CREATION STATION for the artistically inclined of you to have a look at!

Let’s have some fun with the actual question “Where’s Wallace?”

Where do you want me to be?

On the back of a bus?  On a flag on top of the Prime Ministers house?  In a meeting with Barack Obama?

Head to the Creation Station and you’ll be able to download a whole load of pictures of me in different poses, along with some of the Where’s Wallace? branding and artwork.  Then, you can Photoshop away until your teeth begin to itch!

And the Creation Station needn’t be just about pictures and photoshopping either.  Make me a video, sing me a song, paint me a picture, or borrow some of Lionel Richie’s spare plasticine and sculpt a life-size representation of my head.

Email me your creations to wallace@whereswallace.org

During the video that I put together though, I made mention of a special young chap, who I’d like you all to follow on Twitter, and check out his website.

11 year old Harry Moseley has an inoperable brain tumour, but when his friend Robert Harley became seriously ill because of a brain tumour, Harry set up his campaign Help Harry Help Others.

Sadly, Robert passed away, aged 55, just shortly after Harry began his campaign, but he’s  carried on in Robert’s memory and is going to amazing lengths to raise awareness, support and money for Cancer Research UK.

Right now though, Harry himself is quite poorly.  He’s recently been through some very major surgery and is recovering in hospital.  His family and loved ones have kept Harry’s campaign going through Twitter whilst he’s still asleep, but they want as many of us as possible to get behind him, wish him well to get better, and help to promote his campaign.

So you can follow Harry on Twitter by clicking here.

And – head over to www.helpharryhelpothers.co.uk and buy one of Harry’s bracelets to help raise money for Cancer Research UK.

Get well soon Harry, from everybody that’s following Where’s Wallace?

Wallace

I’ll repeat the point I made in the video though, that Where’s Wallace? is here as an example of not what one silly bloke hopes to do on his own, but what one silly bloke’s invitation to the rest of the world can do.

If you’ve got an idea, or thoughts about what we can do together now that we’re here, then just let me know and we’ll set about putting it into action.  There are no stupid ideas…….apart from the one that Jeffrey made to me earlier, which was pretty dangerous and would definitely have ended up with somebody getting arrested.

If you want to get in touch, then just email me at wallace@whereswallace.org

Actual books, written by actual history people……. like Tony Robinson, maybe……. and they’ll write about how Operation Magnum Double Caramel marked a significant and important milestone in the Where’s Wallace? campaign. It’ll probably read something like this:

At 11.38am, the call went out.

A call, so bold in its delivery that people were left in no doubt of its intention.

“People. Gather here in comfort. Away from the mayhem and burning infernos of our high streets. Let us, together, build a following for a better purpose.” cried Wallace, holding aloft the sacred jokeless wooden stick of temptation. A Magnum Double Caramel.

“Our aim?” He bellowed.

“To gather an army in excess of 100, so that we might better spread the word about Where’s Wallace?”

And from the ranks of friendship, noble men and women stepped forward.

Sir @nickyp2911 of the Preston clan, Lord @edsharman of the Windsor clan (apparently), and Lady @BethanCross, of the Netball team, were amongst them.

And together they set about the Where’s Wallace? mission, until they found their heroine.

And she rose. And she stood before the known Twitterverse, shining as a beacon of better understanding and altruistic integrity.

And her name…………………… was @Caggie_Dunlop!

Alright, so it probably won’t sound anything like that, but you get the point! The success of Where’s Wallace? will depend, so heavily, on the charity and support that we can stir from people using tools like Twitter and Facebook. And with your help in tweeting, liking, posting and poking people to read about what I’m up to, I can see great things happening.

Thank you, to everybody that is working so hard to help me already. It means so much and I can only hope that I’ll do you all proud.

Yes, I’ve quit my job.  And yes, I’m moving out of my flat and putting all of my stuff into storage.  But no, I’ve not got another job.  And no, I’ve not got anywhere else to live.

Oh crikey, I can see all your faces now, with your big wide eyes and your nervously embarrassed looking smiles.  Seriously though, there’s no need to worry, so you can all close your mouths.

I’ve decided to go on an adventure.  A new and exciting challenge, so far removed from life as I (and I suspect most of you) know it, that it might look like a breakdown, but I can assure you it’s not.

For some time now, I’ve been struggling with the reality of not being altogether that happy with the way my life was panning out.  It was all looking a bit, boring.  It was looking a lot like how I’d expected somebody else’s life to look by the time they got to 30, and it was, if I’m honest, starting to make me rather unhappy.

You lot – my friends, colleagues, family and casual acquaintances – might not have noticed it thanks to the all consuming tide of sunshine that perpetually beams from my aching smile.  But then again, I suppose there’s a chance that you might have wondered whether something wasn’t quite right.

So, in a fit of wreckless abandon, I hatched a plan so secret in its conception that not even I have really known what’s going on.

Now though, I’m ready to tell you all what’s afoot.

Gentles and ladymen, I give you……………Where’s Wallace?

My aim?  To raise as much money as humanly possible for Cancer Research UK, by walking from John O’Groats to Lands End, via all 16 of the charity’s dedicated research centres.  Along the way, I’ll be producing a series of short videos about each of the centres that will aim to show you exactly what the money that Cancer Research UK raises is used to fund. Namely, science!

And why?  Because this really matters, to all of us.  Cancer Research UK is financing an army of white coat-wearing heroes who are working tirelessly to solve the mysteries of cancer, and I want to meet them.  And I want you to meet them with me.  And then I want all of us to help them, so that together we can all say “thank you” for everything that they do.

And thankfully, now that this internet thing has caught on, you’ll all be able to join me.  The Where’s Wallace? adventure – if you’ll let it – will be beamed to your brains in a live, on the road, blow by blow, and bloggingly beautiful mishap of Twitter, Facebook and YouTubeable togetherness.

So you see, Ian, I’m fine.

Wallace